Writer's Block
by Roriette
Summary: Lucy Heartfilia is a boys' love novelist with a large domain of fans and a major problem - she has writer's block. The deadline's tomorrow, her editor is going to murder her, her best friend Levy might be her solution, and then her window gets broken in. That has got to be the last straw.


**Rori's Corner: **I had this on my mind for a while, but I just never thought it'd be _this_ long. It's a one-shot, and I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. Hope you enjoy it too!

**Warning:** Language & some sexual implications. And very disclaimed, unfortunately. *sadfaisu*

**Summary:** Lucy is a boys' love novelist with a major problem – she has writer's block. The deadline's tomorrow, her editor is going to murder her, and a broken window might just be her lead to success.

* * *

Writer's Block

* * *

Scribble.

_Scritch. Scritch._

Sketch. Sketch. Sketch.

Pen tapping on paper.

_Pew!_

Into the trashcan.

The 176th scrunched paper ball tumbled into a mass of crumbled paper balls.

Lucy pressed both of her palms to her temple, eyes bloodshot and eyebags black and heavy. She breathed in and then: "This isn't it, either!"

She ripped out a blank page, holding it closely to her face, breathing – _rasping_ – rapidly. Her right eye twitched. She collapsed on the brown worktable, the left side of her face crushing the blank lined paper matted against her cheek.

"The deadline's tomorrow. The deadline's tomorrow, and I can't make it. The deadline's tomorrow, and I haven't written one word. The deadline's tomorrow..." she trailed off, the phrase repeating in her head like a crazed mantra. "At this rate...at this rate," she groaned, turning her head and pressing the right side of her cheek down on the wooden surface, "I'll have to give up pursuing a career as a BL novelist!"

Gasping at the unimaginable and utterly repulsive prospect, she switched sides, her cheek back to crushing the poor page against the table. "No...no, I refuse!"

"I'll dish this story out if it's the last thing I do!"

Switch.

"...But I'm really out of ideas."

Switch.

"But, but, I have to think of _something_!"

Switch.

Silence.

She sighed.

Rising, she cupped her cheek with her left hand and stared down at the crumbled piece of paper, wishing that if she glared hard enough, the paper would explode and drag her into the combustion. After withstanding the five dull minutes of nothing happening, she muttered to herself, eyes dead and figure sloped over the desk, "Crap, I really have a goddamn writer's block."

Damn it! She couldn't just give up like this, after coming this far...!

She whipped up the antiquated home phone plugged on the wall and punched in the numbers she learned by heart.

Please, please, please pick up, best friend! Her last lifeline!

_Ring. Ring. Ri_ –

"Hello?"

Yes!

"Levy," Lucy pounced, breaking off into a tirade before her childhood friend could butt in, "Levy, you're my last hope, my queen in shining armor! You have to help me!"

"_Lucy? Wait – _"

"Deadline's tomorrow, and I haven't a snippet of inspiration! I have nothing. _Nothing_! Oh my gawd, what am I gonna DO! Levyyyyyy!" she cried, sniffing, wiping her bloodshot and teary eyes with her sleeve.

"_Wait, wait, calm down, Lucy_!" came her best friend's voice. She nodded tearfully, though Levy couldn't see the gesture anyway. "_What's going on, you have writer's block_?"

"Yes! Oh, what am I going to do, Levyyyyy," she whined, clinging onto the wired phone like it was her only lifeline.

"_But you haven't had writer's block for a while! Why now?"_

"I don't know, I don't know! Maybe cause of my period?! I don't know, what should I do? My editor's going to _kill_ me!"

"_First of all, calm down. What's it for this time?_"

"I have to hand in a basic storyline and the first five chapters, no restrictions or anything. But that's the scary part! My editor's giving me free reign _for the first time ever_ – may I emphasize on the word _ever_ – and I'm totally clueless as to what to write about!"

"_Lucy...you have to write FIVE CHAPTERS IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, ARE YOU INSANE?"_

Lucy shrieked, wet droplets of tears threatening to flow down her face, "I KNOW, I KNOW. I REALLY REGRET GOING ALONG WITH STUPID NATSU AND GRAY TO STUPID LAS VEGAS AND COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABOUT MY DEADLINE!"

She heard her best friend sigh over the phone, and then: "_Well, I guess it can't be helped. Let's go over ideas."_

"Well," Lucy said, calming down slightly, "I haven't tried a piece of life themed BL. Let's see, I've done alien invasion, zombie apocalypse, time travel – I really liked that one."

"_The one about the king's harem and the modern assassin who traveled back in time in order to murder the evil emperor, in which the assassin failed in assassinating the king, became enslaved, and ended up enduring countless encounters of hot, passionate, sexy, sadistic, not to mention hot, passionate, and sexily amazing BL sex while imprisoned or tied down to the king's bed?"_

"_Emperor of Ice_, yup, that one," agreed Lucy, mouth muffled against the handkerchief pressed on her nose, stopping the flow of warm trickle of blood seeping from her nostrils.

"_Of course. It was a smash hit, Lucy! All two-hundred thousand copies were sold out within the first month of release. It was a-ma-zing. You based the emperor off Lyon and the assassin off Gray. I thought it was so perfect. Did you tell them?"_

"What? No!" Lucy shook her head rapidly. "You're crazy if you think I'm ever letting them know that I'm using my creative rights on them. They'll kill me!"

"_Oh...true. We can keep it a secret. Hehe."_

"It's _forever_ a secret."

"_So, a piece of life theme?"_

Lucy tapped her chin with her index, twirling the spiral phone cords mindlessly, thinking. "How about...two inseparable best friends, one falls in love with the other, but the other is completely, infinitely straight?"

"_Oohh...I'm a sucker for those stories. I'm loving the sound of it already."_

"And then the straight friend falls in love with a girl, but the girl he's in love with actually falls in love with his best friend who's in love with _him_."

"_Oh no, a love triangle! Drama! Keep going!"_

"A is the guy in love with his best friend, and B is the best friend. A and B are inseparable, but A falls in love with B, but B doesn't know about it, and A plans to keep his feelings a secret, because he doesn't want to ruin their friendship. Then, B falls in love with a girl, and A and B's friendship crumbles as B spends his days chasing the girl. The girl can't stand B and ends up falling in love with A." Lucy continued to mindlessly twirl the phone cord, suffused by her racing, excited thoughts. The cord gradually tangles around her finger to the point of becoming suffocating, but she didn't notice. "B can't take the rejection, at the same time feeling betrayed by A, because it seems as if his best friend stole his girl. A and B end up fighting – "

"_This is the part where angry fighting turns into angry, hot sex?"_

"Levy!" gasped Lucy, face blooming with red.

"_Eep! Sorry, I just thought that that's generally how your story flow works!"_

"No – I mean, yes that's how I generally work, but I'm feeling a different vibe with this story. I think A and B should fight, throw and take some punches, and then this is the emotional part where A goes all 'B, you know what?'"

"_And B goes all, 'What?'"_

"And A says, '_I love you._'"

"_And B is all shocked and says, 'What did you just say?'"_

"And A punches B and screams, 'I _love_ you, damn it.'"

"_And B doesn't get it, so he just takes the hit, stumbles back, hits the wall, and be like, 'What?'"_

"And A turns around so B doesn't see the tear tracks running down his cheeks, as it mysteriously – conveniently – starts to rain, and says in an empty voice, 'I'm sorry. Forget what I said. It doesn't matter anymore.'"

"_And B doesn't know what to say, as he starts going over his mind to see if any implications of his friend's feelings ever showed."_

"Then A leaves B in the alley – because that's where all the drama and angst happen – and doesn't come to school for a week. B takes the time to mull over everything, but..."

"_Is it...going to be a happy or sad ending?"_ Levy's voice was hushed with anticipation.

Lucy looked down at her completely ensnared index finger and almost dropped the wired phone in surprise. She pried the tangled cord off of her finger while saying, "B thinks it over and realizes that...he doesn't like A the same way that A likes him – "

"_Oh no..."_ Levy's disappointed voice reached over the intercom.

"A already knows how B feels, and coincidentally, his dad's office promotion forces him to move. A realizes that his feelings are fruitless, so he moves to a new house and school without a proper goodbye. And...that's the end."

"_Such a tragic, unrequited ending..."_ Levy remarked on the other line, making a sniffling noise. _"I love it. It's an absolutely heart-wrenching storyline, and I can't wait to read it. I can already see myself crying rivers, although it kind of sucks that I already know the ending."_

A small, proud smile lifted the corners of Lucy's mouth. "Do you think the story's okay? Should I change anything?"

"_Maybe you can kill off someone in the story or injure one of the protagonists heavily to create more intense drama. Add a little Shakespearean edge to make it shine just a tad more."_

"Mm, great idea. Noted. Thanks, Lev." Lucy nodded to herself, jotting the idea down on a pink post-it paper. "Anything else you can think of, Levy?"

"_Well, the characters. How do you depict them?"_

"Hm...I was thinking of making B the captain of the football team and have A be a classic delinquent who gets into fights and constant trouble with the school."

"_Actually, that was unexpected. I thought you would make A a classic nerd or geek to make the personalities clash, which would become the basis for their friendship."_

"Oh...that – "

_Pew! Pew!_

_BAM! _

_Thump!_

Lucy jumped, eyes wide, startled out of her skin. She had been so into their conversation that she hadn't a piece of mind for anything else, and the sudden noise managed to bring her attention to what she could only describe as a complete and _utter disaster_.

The curtain to her bedroom window was wide open, billowing against the cold wintry air, and snow was lazily drifting into the room and melting into the velvet carpet. The problem was not there. The problem was that her wide, circular, and beautifully designed glass window which were previously flawless had now a single big, gaping _hole_ right through the center. She slowly moved her gaze down to the carpet and saw the shards of broken glass strewn across the velvet. The trail of glass shards led her to a lone and innocent leather football resting just in front of her worktable.

"W-what..." she trailed off, eyebrow twitching rapidly in agitation.

"_Lucy! Are you okay?! What's with that loud noise just now?"_

"Levy...m-my window..."

"_Lucy?"_

"LUCY, GET DOWN!" a vociferous voice shouted, and Lucy became quickly alert. Instinctively, she ducked, just as a furious object came hurdling in her punctured window, through the gaping hole, and whizzed past where her head had been to collide into the wall. The object – another football – thumped and dropped to the carpet. Lucy stared at it in horror, heart beating and thudding at the speed of light, feeling queasy.

"Hey, Lucy! You 'aight? Good thing I warned you, right?"

Lucy stood up unsteadily, her knees shaking, the scare making her incapacitated. If she hadn't dodged just then, she would most definitely not be standing here now. If she hadn't dodged...

"Oi, Gray! Your aim _sucks_! You almost got Lucy!"

"What are you talking about? My aim is definitely better than _your_ half-assed throw, shithead. Dude, what happened to the window? Is Lucy okay?"

"I 'unno, she looks out of it. Helloooo, Lucy?"

She slowly blinked at the hand waving in her face. "Natsu? Gray?" she uttered tonelessly, still incredibly shaken by that near death's hold.

"Oh, she's back. Lucy, er, about your window," Gray spoke up sheepishly, hands unconsciously reaching into his pockets, only to realize that he had taken his pants off a long time ago, and here he was, clad in only his black boxers.

"Sorry, Lucy, I think we kind of broke your window while playing football. The court is in front of your room, so that's how the two balls ended up breaking your window," came Natsu's voice. He had a serious expression on.

"Yeah, we're really sorry about it. We'll work on our aim," Gray added.

Natsu nodded solemnly.

Lucy let out a breath she had been holding in, marveling at how tense her body was. The two idiots seemed _genuine_ in their apology this time. She sighed, glaring at them hard. "You guys scared the crap out of me! I was seriously – "

"Tell Mr. H that we'll mow the lawn for him as our apology, all right, Lucy? I'm sure he won't be too mad at you for the broken window if you tell him that!" Natsu beamed, grinning brightly, giving her a thumbs up.

Her last working nerve snapped.

"E-E-EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"

* * *

"_Oh my god, really? That happened?"_

"Yes!" Lucy huffed, scowling, as she fluffed out her pillows and lifted the silky blanket over herself. "Can you believe those two idiots? Why in the seven hells were they _having a contest to see who could throw the farthest football in the middle of winter in my house_ IN FRONT OF MY ROOM?!"

Szzzz.

"_Ow...technical problems."_

"S-sorry, Levy!" Lucy apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to take it out on you!"

"_Ehehe, it's fine. So did you really..."_

Lucy settled herself into the bed, snuggling into the cozy warmth. "Really what?"

"_You know, get them to sign it."_

A mischievous glint flashed across Lucy's brown eyes as a slow, victorious smirk stretched over her lips.

"Oh, you _bet_ I did."

* * *

**2 Months Later**

Gray Fullbuster was hardly ever nervous. As the drummer of a band soon to be debuting under one of the biggest music production labels, he had already gotten past the stages of anxiety. He was calm and collected – well, in his mind, at least. But anyway, case in point, he rarely got nervous, but here he was, shaking from head to toe in front of a shelf of hotly released books in the local bookstore. He glanced around at the novels, trying to locate the title that Lucy published.

_A Fairy Tail_

Lucilia Heart

#1 Best-selling in Magnolia

There. There it was. With Lucy's pen name and the gold cover. He glanced left and right, making sure no one was watching him. Well, he must look pretty shady with the dark glasses and top hat on, but he needed to protect his identity and his (soon to be tarnished) reputation. He leaned in and was about to take the book, when a hand belonging to an equally shady man grasped it just as his fingers touched the spine. He narrowed his eyes, saw pink hair, and smirked at the capped, shaded, and scarfed man.

"I thought you _weren't _interested, _Natsu_," he sneered.

"Shut up, slanty eyes, and hand it over," Natsu sneered back.

"Instead of pointlessly fighting over this and attracting attention, how about we both buy it and leave so we can read about how our reputation is going to drown at leisure?"

"Wait, we're buying it?"

Gray rolled his eyes. "What, you _want_ people to see two shady-ass guys huddling together in the corner reading a gay literotica?"

Natsu finally relented at that.

The cashier had given them a very pointed look when they arrived, suspiciously covered and conspicuously so to the point of being downright embarrassing, not that they noticed, before scanning the book and letting the two shady individuals go about their business with the very infamous boys' love novel.

They ended up in a cafe right across from the bookstore. Seated, they stared down at the book. Tension, and more tension, hung in the equally tense atmosphere. After two minutes of it, Gray finally reached to the bottom right corner of the hardcover, lifting it. Title page, copyright page, dedication page, and then, the acknowledgment page. Gray instinctively winced, and Natsu tried to read the upside-down print.

**Acknowledgments**

"The author, that is, I, Lucilia Heart, shall express dear appreciation to her best friend – that is, you, my eternally lovely Levy, her editor, Ms. Scarlet, and her inspirations who altogether _made_ this happen, Gray and Natsu, who have given me permission to borrow their images for the two main characters. Without you all, I could not have possibly accomplished this. So, thank you so very much, and I hope you enjoy a little fairy tail."

Gray's nerves must be high on caffeine or something, because his eyes and hands could not stop twitching.

"I-I don't want to read it," Natsu whispered.

"Don't be a wuss," he chided. "Nothing's going to happen in the first page, anyway. Besides, people _will_ talk. Let's at least make sure we know what they'll be talking about."

"...Fine. But, let's just skip to the middle. That's where everything happens."

"Well, aren't you hasty."

"Shuddap, slanty eyes."

"Tch. No brainer."

Natsu flipped to the middle of the book. Their eyes roved over the black and white, and then their jaws dropped.

"_You know what?"_

_Gray looked at his best friend as the fall leaves danced, fading into the alleyway and landing astray atop trashcans. "What," he said, angry yet curious. _

_Natsu's pink head was lowered, shadows adorning his face like a second layer of skin, a shield of sorts, and he could not have made himself any darker, more obscured, more withdrawn. Something escaped his throat, passed his lips, and Gray was almost sure it was a whisper, a cry, a confession – _

"_Can't hear you."_

_And then he was knocked back against the hard brick, a mouth hot against his, hands crawling all over his skin, leaving warm trails. He pushed, struggled – he didn't want this, this, what's the word for it – _

"_Stop," he breathed. Get away._

"_I said I fucking love you, ain't that good enough for ya?" _

"_What the hell did you just say?" he gasped. He finally looked at Natsu's face, his best friend's face, and that face was crestfallen. It was empty. _

"_Nevermind."_

"_The hell," he rasped._

"_Forget it. I didn't say anything."_

"_The hell you didn't say anything. I heard you loud and clear." He didn't understand what was going on anymore. They could've been drunk. They could've been high. As long as they weren't sober – _

_Natsu's hands were tugging down his pants, his hands were on Natsu's shirt. They were immersed in a passionless experience, feelings were one-sided, but what could he do except comfort his best friend for one drunken night in the alleyway of nowhere? Natsu was too slow, and he dipped in, stripping both of their clothes easily, and then they were utterly naked, together, bare as the day they were born. And then Natsu's fingers were on his _

Thump.

Both of their hands had turned the book back to the cover page, a duo effort in closing the novel of doom. Then, they noticed how their hands were touching, right after reading that snippet of _fictional_, emphasis on _fictional_, piece of creative work, and they very quickly retreated, leaving a fine space between them.

An awfully pregnant silence proceeded.

Then, Gray cleared his throat, his cheeks red and hot, steaming like a chimney, and Natsu, similarly red complexion, followed suit. "Let's...just leave."

"Y-yeah..."

_And never, ever get on Lucy's bad side ever again._

And then the day could not have progressed any better; just as they were paying their minuscule bill of coffee and spicy tea, a shadow loomed over their table.

"Yo, Gray and Natsu. I was wondering who the suspicious guys in the corner were. What's up with the weird disguises?"

They looked up to see a sunset-haired man with his ever present blue shades smiling down at them.

"Loke, why are you here?" Gray asked.

"Yo, Loke," Natsu greeted.

Loke nodded at him and then looked at the object on the table, eyebrow raised inquisitively. "Oh, what's this? A novel? Surprising! Wait – '_A Fairy Tail_?'"

Gray shot a desperate look at Natsu, and Natsu shot it right back. Silently, they snatched the book, turned tail, and tried to make their escape, leaping out of the cafe in a not-so-discreet manner.

"Wait, guys! I want to read that!" Loke cried out, running after them.

"No, you don't!" Gray and Natsu shouted back in unison.

"I always read each and every one of Lucy's books, so of course I must read _A Fairy Tail_, too!"

"You – what?!" Stunned at the abrupt confession, they skidded to a stop in front of a stoplight.

Loke fixed his blue glasses, smirking to himself. "They are all masterpieces. Lucy is a brilliant writer and the queen of the art of romance. Her beauty itself is a testament to that. Therefore," he paused, fixing his suit collar, eyes flashing with determination, "you will hand over that novel."

Gray and Natsu did not hesitate to run for their lives.

On the other side of the city, a certain Lucy Heartfilia relaxed in her pedicure chair, sipping a fruity cocktail as the nail technicians worked on her legs and replenished her toes. A buzz of her phone alerted her to a new text message, and a smile dawned over her lips.

2:01 pm

**Erza Scarlet**

"Good job, Lucy. It was a fanastic BL novel. I am honored to have you under my wing, and I hope to see you at your best always. In my opinion, A Fairy Tail has to be your best novel to date. P.S: All 300,000 copies are sold out."

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**Rori's Corner:** Oh, this oneshot is set in the world of my other fic, called _"You're My."_ It's a LaTsu fic, so go check it out if you're ever interested. Thank you for reading this long, long oneshot!


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